Quotes

Top 200+ Funny Attitude Quotes

Published

1 year ago

November 16, 2022

Are you curious to see what we write for your reading enjoyment? Then keep reading till the end and explore the best funny attitude quotes.

Funny attitude quotes are a collection of laughable sayings about having an attitude, whether it is good or bad.

These funny attitude quotes will show you how funny an attitude can be. It is our choice, whether to ignore bad attitudes or let them get under our skin.

Your attitude may hurt me, but mine can even kill you.

I hate it when you have to be nice to something you really want to throw a brick at.

I’m not lazy, I’m just in my energy-saving mode.

When killing them with kindness doesn’t work, Try a basketball bat. Results may vary.

A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can’t go anywhere until you change it.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
When I’m quiet, those that don’t know me to look at me and think I’m shy. People who know me think: OMG! She’s thinking! Everyone runs for your life.

Society is funny. They ask you to be yourself and yet they judge you.

I stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now.

Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.
Girls are like abstract paintings, even though you can’t understand them, they are still beautiful.

I may look calm. But in my head, I’ve killed you about 5 times.
You never know what you have until. You clean your room.
If you’re talking about me behind my back that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours.
My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
I’m actually a nice person…Until you piss me off.

I’m smiling. That alone should scare you…
I love everybody. Some I love to be around, Some I love to avoid, and others I would love to punch in the face.
Apparently, I have an attitude. Who knew?
I am not perfect, but I am a limited edition.
I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem and that’s not my problem.
I’m having technical difficulties with my attitude today. I apologize for the inconvenience this may cause you. Avoidance is suggested for safety.
If you’re arguing with a woman and she says “wow” you’re done…abort the argument immediately.
It’s funny, how when I am loud, people tell me to be quiet. But when I am Quiet, People ask me what’s wrong with me.
Don’t give me your attitude, unless you want mine.
God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world…then he made the world round and laughed and laughed…
“People always say that nothing is impossible. That’s not true. I do nothing every single day.”
“Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.”
“Sometimes people deserve a high five on the face with a CHAIR.”
“The longer the title the less important the job.”
“Taking revenge is wrong.. very very wrong.. But very very fun.”
“Whenever I think of quitting smoking, I need a cigarette to think.”
“Eat right, exercise, die anyway.”
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
“Dear Teacher, I talk to everyone, so moving my seat won’t help. Sincerely, Student.
“Both wife and insult are somewhat similar. They always look good, if it is not yours!”
“We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.”
“What people say to your face is not a problem. The problem is what they say behind your back.”
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”
“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”
“Silence is the best answer to a FOOL.”
“An apple a day will keep just about anyone away if you throw it hard enough.”
“When I was born, I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and half.”
“My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my BED.”
“Why is ‘Monday’ so far from ‘Friday’ and ‘Friday’ so near to ‘Monday’???”
“I always arrive late at the office but I make it by leaving early.”
“Can you do me a favor? Take a picture of yourself, and send it to me. I am playing cards and seem to be missing the Joker.”
“I’m that ugly I asked myself out and I said no.”
“Patience is not a virtue. Its just a waste of Time! :P”
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a closed room with a mosquito.”

Don’t forget to explore our collection of Friday Quotes Funny to Kick Off the Weekend Right and Believe in yourself quotes.

Table of Contents

Funny Quotes Attitude

Looking for a funny quote attitude to reflect the humor that underlines many aspects of attitude? Then you are at the right place because here you can find the perfect words to describe your attitude pictures in a funny way and make everyone laugh. So pair your funny attitude picture with a funny attitude quotes.

“I hate when I’m about to HUG someone really s3xy and my face hits the mirror. :p”
“People say I have a dirty mind, But I say it’s just creative!”
“I’m not lazy, I’m a master of energy conservation.”
“I know the voices in my head aren’t real but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!”
“When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing Angry Birds with you?”
“My Girlfriend says I need to be more affectionate… Now I have 2 Girlfriends!”
“I and my wife live happily for 25 years and then we met…”
“Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.”
“A good friend would bail you out of jail but your best friend would be the one sitting next to you saying, damn that was cool.”
“Good friends will share the umbrella. Best friends will steal it and yell: It’s awesome, now run!”
“Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.”
“Warning!!! I know KARATE and a few other oriental words.”
“When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m an alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta… No one says I’m fantastic.”
“Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.”
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.”
“I love my job only when I’m on vacation.”
“My mother always told me: If you do not have anything nice to say, then you better say it sarcastically.”
“I love everyone! There are some people I love to be around, and some people I love to avoid. And then there are others I do love to just punch in the face.”
“Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.”
“Tom N Jerry taught me that life is boring without ENEMIES.”
“I’m poor. I can’t pay attention in the classroom.”
“Life is short. SMILE while you still have TEETH.”
“I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle… He’s dreaming too.”
“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”
“When everything comes your way… Then you are on the wrong part of the highway.”
“I don’t always lose my phone but when I do it’s always on silent.”
“Tried to lose weight… But it keeps finding me.”
“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.”
“Marriage is a “workshop”, Where husband ‘works’ and wife ‘shops’.”
“When nothing seems right then go left…”
“ETC – End of Thinking Capacity…”
“Scratch here ###::::## to reveal this status…”
“High power comes with a high electricity bill!”
“Try to say the letter M without your lips touching…!!!”
“All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.”
“If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂”
“I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them 🙂”
“Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.”
“When I actually die some people are going to get really haunted.”
“A fine is a tax for doing wrong & a tax is a fine for doing well…!”
“Man ask a trainer in the gym: I want to impress that girl…, which machine can I use? Trainer replies: Use the ATM!”
“Save Water, Drink Wine!!”
“The main cause of divorce is a marriage!”
“Life is too short, so smile while you still have teeth.”
“I may be fat, but you are ugly. The truth is I still can lose that fat.”
“If money grew on trees, then girls would be dating monkeys…!”
“Totally available!!! Please disturb me!!!”
“Hey there, whatsapp is using me.”
“My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.”
“Marriage means silent suicide.”

Positive Funny Attitude Quotes

We have rounded up the best funny positive attitude quotes to inspire you to have a positive attitude and good thoughts in life with fun. Explore them and choose the best quote for your funny Instagram post.

“People said to follow your dreams so I went back to BED.”
“Save Water, Drink Beer!”
“People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason. 😉”
“Fun fact: Phone on silent mode – 10 Missed call… Turns volume to loud – Nobody calls all day!!”
“When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be: I left one million dollars in the…”
“Cell phones these days keep getting thinner & smarter… People the opposite.”
“It’s funny, how when I am loud, people tell me to be quiet. But when I am Quiet, People ask me what’s wrong with me.”
“When You stop talking to me, stop talking about me too.”
“I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.”
“They say we learn from our mistakes. So I’m making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius.”
“No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.”
“You can’t put a leash on me. I’m unleashable!”
“I only want one thing of men, and that is, that they should leave me alone.”
“A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want.”
“It’s not your job to like me, it’s mine.”
“‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”
“When in doubt, freak ‘em out.”
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
“Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.”
“I am silent because I hate drama.”
“The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.”
“You Are the Master of Your Attitude.”
“Yes, I too have a price tag, it’s called self-respect.”
“Just remember that if you fall I will be there to pick you up. As soon as I finish laughing.”
“My life, my rules so, keep your nose out of my business!!!”
“Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.”
“C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping 🙂”
“Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so; I go back to being me.”
“Our phone fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.”
“Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.”
“I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice 🙂”
“I would like to apologize to anyone. I have not yet offended. Please be patient. I will get back to you shortly.”
“My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle… Information goes in and then it’s never found again.”
“Sometimes even the devil on my shoulder asks ‘what the hell are you doing now?’”
“I did a push-up today. Well, actually I feel down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so… close enough now I need chocolate.”
“You can’t always control who walks into your life… but you can control which window you throw them out of.”
“That amazing moment when you hear a song you haven’t heard in years and you still know every word.”

“When I’m quiet, those that don’t know me to look at me and think I’m shy. People who know me think OMG! She’s thinking! Everyone run for your life!”
“When someone does math without using a calculator witchcraft!”
“Every family has one weird relative. If you don’t know who it is, then it’s probably you.”
“Have you ever just looked at someone and said… “seriously?”
“Honestly, I’m an angel. The horns are just there so my halo sits straight.”
“I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I would love to punch in the face.”
“8 year olds today have Facebook, Twitter, iPhone, and iPod. When I was 8, I had a coloring book, crayons, and an imagination.”
“Teenager for sale: Eye rolling, back chatting, temper tantrums, and ‘I already know everything’ attitude included, all sales are final.”
“I’m losing my mind but as long as I keep the part that tells me when I gotta pee I should be ok”
“God is like oxygen. You can’t see him, but you can’t live without him.”
“Sometimes I’m just like, I need a hug!”
“You say I’m dirty minded. But, how did you understand what I meant?”
“I turned my phone on “airplane mode” and threw it into the air. Worst transformer ever.”

Funny Bad Attitude Quotes

“They say we learn from our mistakes… that’s why I’m making as many as possible. I’ll soon be a genius!”
“Don’t be afraid of a few extra pounds. Fat people are harder to kidnap.”
“I try to be a nice person but sometimes my mouth doesn’t want to cooperate!”
“I’m not arguing. I’m simply explaining why I’m right.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?”
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
“That annoying moment when you finally get comfortable in bed, but then bam, have to pee.”
“That moment when you walk into a spider web and suddenly turn into a karate master.”
“Math the only place where people buy 64 watermelons and no one wonders why.”
“Never forget three types of people in your life: 1. Who helped you in difficult times. 2. Who left you in difficult times. 3. Who put you in difficult times.”
“Just imagine how perfect life would be if pizza made you skinny!”
“Just before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernnels. My cremation is going to be epic!”
“If people are talking about you behind your back, then just fart!”
“You’ve aged.”
“I love rumors. I always find out amazing things about myself I never knew.”
“If you see me smiling it’s because I’m thinking of doing something evil or naughty. If you see me laughing it’s because I’ve already done it.”
“I did not trip. The floor looked sad, so I thought it needed a hug!!”
“Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 32 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 1. Now close your eyes. Its dark isn’t it.”
“Yuck! I just stepped in a big pile of Monday!”
“I may look calm. But in my head, I’ve killed you about 5 times.”
“If a friendship lasts longer than 7 years then you are no longer just friends. You are family.”
“The human body is made up of over 60% that means I’m not fat, I’m just flooded!”
“Seeing a spider isn’t a problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears.”
“Warning going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday. Please note that staying awake all night does not prevent Monday. There is no cure.”
“B.I.T.C.H – beautiful individual that creates hell.”
“Sugar is sweet lemons are tart I love you more than a unicorn fart.”
“I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of skittles.”
“Have you ever wanted to give someone a really good throat massage using both hands?!”
“Husbands are the best people to share secrets with. They’ll never tell anyone, because they aren’t even listening.”
“Attention! I am out of order until further notice. My “stupid people” filter needs cleaning and my “give a damn” batteries have run out.”
“I think Sunday should be 48 hours instead of the usual 24, so we have more time to prepare for Monday.”
“A lion will never have to tell you it’s a lion.”
“Smart women are selective.”
“Don’t judge my past, look at my present, I am sure my future is really rocking.”
“Attitude is the mirror of your entire being.”
“This attitude came from pain, I wasn’t always like this.”
“My attitude gets real aggressive when I feel like you think I’m stupid.”
“Worrying won’t change the outcome, but a positive attitude changes everything.”
“Two things you are in total control of in life are your attitude and your effort.”
“Don’t let evil people change your attitude towards life!”
“You’re lucky if you found a person who never gets tired of understanding your nonsense attitude.”
“A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.” — Patricia Neal
“Never complain or adopt the habit to whine over small things and never ever justify yourself.”
“A positive attitude may not solve all our problems but that is the only option we have if we want to get out of problems.”– Subodh Gupta
“If you need to change anything in your life it should be your attitude towards life.”
“Ignoring people is not a part of your attitude but a part of your cowardness.”
“The way you wear a correct dress for any occasion, the same way you must have correct attitude to handle any situation.”
“A king remains king not when he acts like a king but behaves like one.”
“I have an attitude because I have earned it.”
“My attitude may vary after looking at your attitude.”

Funny Quotes About Positive Attitude

“My perception is different so my attitude is different.”
“If you can’t swallow me as I am, it’s better to spit it out, otherwise you’ll choke, I guarantee.”
“If the world is against you then turn around and lead the world.”
“Having a positive attitude isn’t wishy-washy, it’s a concrete and intelligent way to view problems, challenges, and obstacles.” — Jeff Moore
“A positive attitude is a person’s passport to a better tomorrow.” – Jeff Keller
“Your attitude is your point of view towards people and things.”
“I have an attitude because I have earned it.”
“My success is what I use to slap my enemies.”
“I can soar the greatest heights all because I have the courage to fly.”
“They said I couldn’t, so I did.”
“Elephant. My favorite animal: takes no crap, gives no crap, harms no-one but when one tries to harm it, never forgets.”– Nassim Nicholas Taleb
“Call me ma attitude but u can’t force me to socialize with someone I don’t want to.”
“If you choose to have a good attitude you will end up with a blessed life, no matter your past or what’s going on right now.”– Joyce Meyer
“Do stuff. Be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It’s all about paying attention. Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager.”
“Don’t be the girl who needs a man. Be the girl a man needs.”
“You cannot do epic things with an average attitude.”
“The more people I meet, the more I realize how well my parents raised me.”
“If you don’t like where you are, move you are not a tree.”
“Be so positive that negative people don’t want to be around you.”
“When I catch people staring at me I assume they’re taking notes on how to be awesome.”
“My attitude is a result of your actions! so if you don’t like my attitude blame yourself!”
“If your ego speaks with me, then my attitude replies to you.”
“Don’t judge me cause I’m quiet, no one plans a murder out loud.”
“I cannot pretend to be sorry for things that I am not, and I cannot pretend to be somebody else that I am not.” — Kangana Ranaut
“Attitude will always define who we are in life.” — Mark A. Brennan
“Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force.”– Irving Berlin
“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.”– Abraham Lincoln
“I notice everything but I keep my mouth shut.”
“Never whine, never complain, never try to justify yourself.” — Robert Greene
“I’m not shy, I’m just really good at figuring out who’s worth talking to.”
“Soon as I catch a attitude I go mute. I can’t hear.I can’t talk. Leave me alone.”
“I be thinking my attitude is getting better until I get pissed off.”
“Oh so you noticed the attitude, but not your actions that caused it? Weird lol.”
“Call me whatever you like; I am who I must be.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
“You can be the princess of your mother but keep in mind I am the prince of my dad.”
“Your vibe attracts your tribe.”
“You secretly don’t like me and I openly don’t give a damn.”
“No time for fake and negative people.”
“None can destroy iron, but its own rust can! Likewise none can destroy a person, but its own mindset can! —- Ratan Tata”